A new view. From a faintly Hitchcockian vantage, I see not only the rear windows of other buildings, but a stand of bamboo. Bamboo! This is very exotic. Imagine: instead of stray felines and raccoons in my back yard, I might get giant pandas.
And when did the giant panda get recategoried with the bears? Why was I not informed? I expect to receive memos like that when they are still fresh. I am all disoriented, having been raised with the wisdom that the giant panda looks like a bear, but is actually more closely related to the raccoon, is not an ursid but a procyonid. This I got with my mother's milk, along with the whale is not a fish but a mammal, and sugar doesn't melt in water -- it dissolves. Precision of scientific vocabulary counted for a great deal. Somewhere in a related part of my head is stored the information that bamboo is a species of grass.
I may have an easier time adjusting to the novel vista of super-tall grass than to the new taxonomic position of the pandas. Perhaps it would have been easier if Mom had told me about it.
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This just in: Whales are fish. Fish in mammal suits. It's all been one big charade. The whales are appropriately contrite. Says one whale, speaking for the order: "We're just incredibly sorry. It started out as a prank, and birthing live young is a lot easier than the press would lead you to believe. Then we got carried away. Fifty million years later, here we are." The whale, a young Minke Whale named **Iiii*Ooo, blew a long, ruminating jet of water through his blowhole. "We just wanted to be special, you know?" **Iiii*Ooo, who like many whales goes by one name, said that cetaceans as a whole would soon start to behave more fishy, but gave no immediate timetable. "I'll tell you one thing," **Iiii*Ooo said before swimming away from the microphone stand, "Those dolphins aren't fooling anyone either."
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