mánudagur, desember 14, 2015

dogs in a mixed-faith household

Transitioning from Hanukkah season to Christmas season: gentile dog finds and eats two nights' stash of Hanukkah gelt, then cheerfully poops out glitter.

Sabbath loaf: Long thought to be mythical (intermittant sightings never confirmed) but recently found to be a very unstable object with half-life measured in fractions of nanoseconds when in the presence of Jewish dog.

Is the Jewish dog Reform, Conservative, or Orthodox? Reform. Jewish dog does not keep kosher. (Poop is not kosher, not even when pooped by a dog who does keep kosher.)

Is the Jewish dog observant at all? Possibly: Jewish dog would not eat non-kosher-for-Passover matzoh on Passover. However, the matzoh was several years past its sell-by date.

Is gentile dog Christian? Unlikely. Has been known to pee on the Christmas tree.

What is gentile dog's cultural-religious background? Possibly indigenous Siberian, unevangelized. Ritual behavior includes veneration of food offerings and lengthy performance of chant-songs.

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